As a tall, formidably sized woman with a penchant for chocolate and all things caloric, it's safe to say that I've abused my poor body over the years in ways that are only now becoming readily apparent.
Arthritis, torn ligaments, joint pain and wrinkles are just a few of the devices my body uses to remind me that I've over-indulged, whether through too much baby oil at the beach during my teens, a zealous need to win the corporate volleyball trophy during my twenties, or the idea that somehow I could stand my Big Girl Self poolside officiating my son's swim meets for 4 hours on end without suffering the consequences.
Aches, pains, creaks and pops are part of my morning routine these days...it's my own wake-up cacophany reminding me that I'm still on the planet, what a joyful noise I make, OUCH!
But gravity and arthritis do take their toll, so a mere 5 weeks ago, I endured a radical new surgical procedure to insert a steel implant in my right knee where my meniscus used to be. This implant, called a Conformis, prevents the bones in my knee from grinding together the way they did for oh-so-many years, and it's ecstasy. I can walk like a regular person. I can go up and down stairs again, I can even ride an exercise bike, which I hadn't been able to do for years. I mean, I won't be riding pole in the Tour de France or anything, but hey, this is a Big Deal for a Big Girl!
Some folks have criticized me for needing this operation: "if you would only lose weight, your knee would feel better." Hmmm...let's review: I'd worked with a trainer for 18 months to try and strengthen my knee, and as a result I lost 40 pounds, but the damage was done, and no weight-loss program exists that can regrow your meniscus. Hindsight may be 20/20, but pain is a huge motivator, and it motivated me right into the office of a great orthopedic surgeon.
Was it 'cheating' to have major surgery in order to help my body heal, so I could regain control? Maybe, but I believe in using the tools at your disposal. I'd exhausted every other option: therapy, Synvisc shots, cortisone, exercise & PT, and I was tired of being physically limited by my disintegrated meniscus. No doubt my family was fed up with my irritability and inability to participate fully in life.
My body is much better for this operation...sure, it's a pretty big, risky ordeal, especially after they take the morphine drip away. Recovery is no picnic but I'm over the hump and progressing nicely. I go to PT three times a week where I grind and sweat and slowly see tangible results. I also go to the Y for water therapy, and guess what?
With all this physical activity, I feel great, because my amazing body is healing, moving the way it was meant to, and that boosts my spirit, which reenergizes my soul. Thanks, Doc!
Does that mean we're 'disposable' with respect to our body parts? Wear something out, get something new in its place? We Baby Boomers do love our throwaways, and most of us can't take no for an answer, so no wonder there's an entire industry out there creating new methods of knee, hip, ankle and shoulder replacement parts. I can look back on my past and count the ways I abused my joints, but that doesn't mean I have to live in misery, if there's a remedy out there...
Our bodies have a remarkable capacity to repair themselves, but sometimes they need a little boost. Sometimes they need a major boost. This Big Girl is thankful for the boosts, in any form or fashion, but mostly I'm thankful for the amazing body that I have, one which responds so well to my 11th-hour rescue attempt.
Anybody up for a bike ride with a Bionic Big Girl? Just keep me away from magnets, ok?
Copyright 2008 Bunkie Lynn, author of The Big Girls' Guide to Life.
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